In News

With flashing lights and lots of bright colours, Christmas can be a testing time for neurodivergent children - as mum, Jo McMeechan knows.

With one son who has ADHD, autism and sensory processing disorder and another who has ADHD, the 36-year-old has learned to navigate the festive season, which can spark meltdowns and sensory overloads. Not wanting her - or any children - to miss out, Jo, a paediatric physio from Bristol, created events specifically for little ones whose emotions might be in a state of overwhelm at this time of the year.
She's also written a story in a bestselling book called The Enchanted Christmas Treasury to raise awareness and help other parents with neurodivergent children.

Jo said: “We learned long ago that Christmas queues and chaotic festive activities resulted in meltdowns every single time as everything just became so overwhelming for the kids.
We've had situations where we've turned up at Christmas events and the anticipation and the overwhelm has just been so much that we've had to leave. But it can take weeks to recover.

“Now I’ve adjusted to how Christmas looks different for us and I help other families enjoy festive days out and activities so families with neurodivergent children feel less alone.”

Jo's children were first diagnosed in February 2022 and September 2021 and Jo felt there was little support on offer, as both Rory, 11, and Arthur, eight, faced significant challenges with the health and education systems around inclusion. Arthur hit a crisis point in September 2021 when he started to refuse to go to school, and Jo began to realise that some things, such as Christmas events, weren't worth doing. Arthur is now no longer educated in a school setting and in September 2022, he started at an alternative provision with a EHCP (an educational health and care plan).

Jo started learning more about inclusion and launched her community interest company SENStory in July 2022 to rewrite the narrative for special educational needs.

In December 2022, Jo’s family queued up to see a Christmas light parade. But it was too much for Arthur’s emotions and he became completely overwhelmed, so they had to admit defeat and get back into the car and miss out. It led Jo to start hosting events designed for neurodivergent kids - including at Christmas - such as festive open days and pony activities.

Jo said: “A lot of typical family Christmas experiences are inaccessible for us. The challenge of attending a Christmas light trial and the level of payoff would take days or weeks to recover from as it’s a sensory overload. Being in a busy environment with the anticipation and the excitement that comes with the festivities is often too much for a lot of neurodivergent children and young people to navigate. That certainly is the case for us and I wanted to make sure that families just like mine understood that it's OK to do things differently and it's OK to navigate some of those challenges in whatever way.”

Over the years, Jo, who has ADHD and is autistic, and her partner, AJ, 28, who is non-binary, have booked and paid for festive activities but ended up staying in the car, going home within a short period of time, or having to split up as a family.

Christmas activities have been too overstimulating, and it means her children have had to miss out.

They tend to stick to the Longleat Festival of Light, as the children can sit in the car for 90 per cent of it. Other events like Christmas craft activities mostly result in a meltdown. And it’s not because the kids don't want to enjoy the magic. The inaccessibility means that it ends up being so overwhelming.  

Jo said: “Christmas is very much centred around kids and while it is magical, it doesn't look the same for diverse families and that representation is so powerful. The way we shape the lead up to Christmas and Christmas day is filled with anticipation and actually for our family that doesn't work because it builds too much expectation.

“So if the kids get to a point that it’s too much and they need to open a present before Christmas Day, we do it. If we need to do Christmas Day in our pyjamas, we do it and that's fine because it really is about allowing everybody to have a day to enjoy together.

“It doesn't really matter whether they’ve already opened half of their presents in the lead up or whether they’ve opened them at 2am because they can’t sleep. I would have previously put pressure on myself that would have resulted in a meltdown and then managing emotions, rather than enjoying Christmas so we've had to rewrite that for ourselves.”

Now, Jo has joined other authors in writing a story for a special book called The Enchanted Christmas Treasury which contains 24 inclusive and diverse stories - one for each day of advent - and it’s raising money for her CIC. The book was important to Jo to show other families - like hers - that it’s OK to do things differently at Christmas time. The more children see themselves represented within books like The Enchanted Christmas Treasury, the more they know they are not alone.

Jo’s Christmas story in the book is based on an autistic young person who has an assistance dog. They go to Santa’s grotto and talk about sensory overwhelm, the experiences, the anticipation and the waiting.

Jo said: “I read my story to my kids and it was the most powerful and heartwarming experience. One was literally in tears and the other just said, ‘this is exactly how I feel’. To normalise those experiences for our kids and to allow children to have that representation is so powerful, regardless of what type of diverse background they are from because it will affirm to them who they naturally are and why they're experiencing some of those challenges.

“It will also help them not to feel isolated in those experiences and challenges as there are others who share their experiences. That is what inclusion is: it's about building them up to allow them to be who they authentically are.”

Now Jo, who says her family has always had to make adaptations and it can be isolating to go against the grain, wants to use SENstory to ensure other families have access to support and knowledge - and for children to have everyday childhood experiences.

Going to a country park, a farm or being in nature - while they're things that Jo’s kids thrive on - the environments in which they happen in, can be busy, noisy and unpredictable - make them inaccessible. You can find things to do and their accessibility here.

Jo would also like to see more companies educating themselves and supporting themselves to offer more inclusive experiences. At Tourism for All, we offer training packages and resources to help businesses become more accessible. Find out more here. To order a copy of The Enchanted Christmas, visit www.authorsandco.pub/Christmas-book to raise awareness and help other parents with neurodivergent children.

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